What Baby Camden is up to
About eleven pounds. ba dum bum

She is three months old and her new interests include clutching dramatically at her clothing a la Fred Sanford, poking out her tongue so mom & dad can tickle it with a finger, and "talking" to us in little "hoo-hoo" monkey grunts with a surprised look that says, "Am *I* making that noise?"

She's also holding that head up very nicely, able to sit on a lap and take in a room with bug eyes, and adores "tummy time" (for you non-parents, that means lying on her stomach propped on her arms like the Sphinx, thereby strengthening her neck, arms, and back muscles and gaining some balance and movement control). She can't read yet, but otherwise, she's coming along very well.

Kanka Is Some Hardcore Stuff

Apparently I have a canker sore. Not a cold sore, which is contagious. So I picked up a substance called Kanka at my local apothecary (Eckerd) which purported to provide maximum pain relief and form a protective coating around my annoying little ulcer. And boy did it ever. I think I went a bit aggressive in the application of it because my lips, the tip of my tongue, and part of my gums seem to have vanished. I can still numbly feel the canker sore a little bit but the pain has been greatly reduced. Thankya, Kanka.

Since I got pregnant, the April 2005 Expecting Club at iVillage has been a lifebuoy. I was able to find out all kinds of information, great "mom" insider information, and best of all, post or read about the totally embarrassing "is it just me?" and "is this normal?" questions that every pregnant woman has. There's a message board on nearly every subject of life and I recommend them. You can communicate with people across America (and in other countries too), and even though we shared the experience of being pregnant, it was really wild to see how varied the experience is.
I like my OB-GYN practice in general, but the doctor who is supposedly "my doctor" is not very forthcoming with information, even when pressed. I do my homework and I like a doctor who will discuss issues with me rather than just say, "See you in two weeks" before my feet are even out of the stirrups. So the message board was quite helpful in filling in the gaps that he left in my pregnancy knowledge base, and no book can fix that either.

P.S.

Today is my 33rd birthday. I am really enjoying it because I don't look anywhere close to 33. I secretly love seeing the shock that comes when strangers learn how old I am. Even a friend of mine the other day was jokingly saying something about how I was not "old enough" for something. I said mock-indignantly, "I'm almost 33." She paused for a long while and I threw in, "You thought I was younger than that, didn't you?" She said, "Definitely." Hey, it's not like I have any control over how old or young I look. Except I don't dress like a frumpy matron -- I suppose that helps.

Vampire Baby

So now I'm almost eight weeks on the other side of pregnancy ... the side where you have a new baby. The pregnancy and delivery were a cakewalk compared to the first couple of weeks of life with our daughter Camden.

Camden was fussy, cranky, crying, frowny, and not as sleepy as I had been led to believe babies are. Breastfeeding didn't work out - she was a "shallow latcher" (don't ask, but it's painful) and we ended up putting her on formula. Long story short, she didn't do well on Enfamil Lipil and is now taking Carnation Good Start very nicely, though it gives her the farts!

When she was first born Camden reminded me of Nosferatu in her middle of the night feedings. She would draw her preternaturally long fingers up underneath her chin and stare distantly with her giant eyes. It was a little creepy. Now she grunts if I stop feeding her and her newest thing is clutching at my shirt and hair with her fingers and grabbing on. I love it.

Life with a new infant had some definite surprises. I thought I had read all the baby books, heard every bit of advice, and knew what to expect. But no. First of all, my little girl looks exactly like her father. Everyone says so and it was the first thing I noticed when I saw her for the first time. Also, I discovered that despite the dire warnings about your baby dying of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome if you allow her to sleep on her stomach, some babies simply will not sleep on their backs. Camden is one of these babies and after we figured this out, life got a lot better for everyone in the household.

With babies you really appreciate the small advances, such as: "Look! She can lift her head up two inches and hold it for ten seconds!" and "Wow, she is starting to look at things besides lights and faces!" Forget walking and talking. We are talking basic motor skills and the beginnings of learning to be happy. Yes, babies must learn to smile and feel happiness; it's not something they are born with. Camden just started issuing the rare smile last week. And I am watching her every minute I can to see all of this unfold.

I have got 8 weeks to go and I have to say, for someone who was freaked out for years about the idea of having a baby, I feel cool as a cuke. Maybe it's that calm period while the log flume is gently bobbing along and slowly kank-kank-kanking its way up the incline. You know what's coming -- you got on the ride in the first place, didn't you? So you just sit back and enjoy the ride as best you can.

It is SO cool to feel the baby wiggling around inside though. She has one foot, the kicky foot, that often pokes out of my side and when I press on it, it drives the foot wild. Apart from that, I don't know what's what in there. In some ways I wish she would just stay in there, my own private pet, easy to feed, goes anywhere, not much of a bother. But I suppose eventually she would get way too big for me to handle from the inside.

If I only had time to read 1000 journals, maybe I would have time too to keep my blog updated. I'm so thrilled that people still make time for creativity and participation in group projects like the one I just linked. "This is an experiment, and you are part of it."

JUMP! All righty. I did not fathom just how much of my youth was spent on video games until I watched this little gem. It starts slowly but it picks up and suddenly you are watching your childhood flash before your eyes -- that is, if you owned an Atari 2600, a Nintendo, or frequented Aladdin's Castle.

ThinkGeek :: Geek Love Poem T-shirt
This shirt is so darn funny. I was trying to imagine explaining what the references mean to my mom -- which I think I could do. But trying to explain to her why it is funny? I think that is beyond my abilities.

The Top Ten Words I Want To Avoid In The Name Of My Baby's Daycare

1. Kollege
2. Baptist
3. L'il
4. Clown
5. Holy
6. Crazy / Krazy
7. Uncle
8. o'
9. Bubba
10. Experimental

Today I toured six daycares in the area. It was an enlightening (and exhausting) experience on many levels. In addition to identifying several I would actually entrust with my child, I also learned some things. Here are a few observations:

Babies really are all different. I guess I had this really generic concept of baby. Bald, drooling, and either asleep or crying. I'm not around them that often. But these babies really ran the gamut. I saw a happy black boy in a miniature Panthers jersey sporting a big afro, who had a bout of barfing on himself and then smiled beatifically like everything was cool and he wasn't soaked in vomit. I saw a very large pale fussy baby girl, whom the director described as "spoiled" because she wants everyone who comes in the room to pick her up.

Just because daycares cost the same does NOT make them of the same quality. The places I saw today all ranged from $115-120 a week (which I understand is quite inexpensive compared to the nearby big city) and all have the same stated caregiver ratio (1 to 6). But one I visited had 12 identical baby cribs jammed next to each other in a prison cell-like arrangement and the babies stared at me like tiny zombies in a room I would describe as too hot. Yet another featured space between the cribs, which each had bedding from home, active babies in the room too busy with their pursuits to notice me much, and neatly printed calendars detailing what the babies were up to that week. These places had the same weekly rate, and yet there was just no comparison.

I am better off letting a daycare look after my infant all day rather than me. I know, all the stay-at-home mommies will argue with me about what a GREAT caregiver I would be. But you know what? They don't know me. I am not really very into babies and I don't want to stay home with one all day. That was never the idea. And for the most part, the daycare workers I saw seem to really love working with babies. They exclaim over poopy diapers, jiggle feet, get down on the floor, talk baby talk, and so on. I'm sure I will do some of this but I can't imagine 12 hours of it daily will be better for me than going to a job I love and then coming home to see my happy kid who's had competent childcare all day long.

Babies seem happier in well-managed groups. Like dogs, who can entertain each other for hours, the babies I saw in the better daycares weren't (for the most part) clingy or overly bored. They seemed pretty content to hang out with other babies and a few adults. I heard very few crying babies today, which surprised me.

Anyway, that's the great wisdom I gleaned today. We'll be making a decision in the next couple of weeks. Now if we can only figure out what to call this child, and get a pediatrician, we'll be all set.

Why I will NOT be having natural childbirth.

First of all, I've never been a fan of pain, especially preventable pain. I feel I owe an easy birth to my great-great-grandmothers, who didn't give birth in pain drinking whisky and chewing on bark for me to decide, now that we have modern medicine, that I don't want any.

Recently I found out that they do not issue medals or trophies for women who have natural childbirth. On Mother's Day, kids do not give costlier and nicer gifts to the mothers who had drug-free labor. You get NOTHING for your pains, nothing except the knowledge that none of the drugs you just took passed through to your little baby. But as rough as the ride is for the baby, I think she would only appreciate a little narcotic help.

Think of it: it is not the most fun day of her life either. She was all warm, dark, and continuously fed, and now everything is cold, bright and she has never been hungry before and doesn't even know how to eat. So I think a little Stadol or Demerol probably takes the edge off for her.

I can't believe I have not updated my blog since last summer. I have been too busy making a baby, I guess. Accept my apologies and this link: Timothy McSweeney's is one of my favorite literary timewaster sites. Enjoyez-vous.

And now, time for some plugs....
My current favorite website is DailyKos. It's political commentary, with a mix of irreverence, humor, and thoughtful analysis that has me comin' back.
My favorite band remains They Might Be Giants. They kick the crap out of your favorite band.
My favorite current TV show is... well, I don't have one. They all suck, except Seinfeld reruns. I didn't see this one coming, but I just realized I don't care if I ever see a Friends episode ever again. Yes, I used to watch it and laugh at it, but now it's thoroughly played. Kind of like when you were in fourth grade and thought My Little Ponies were Totally Cool and you bought one every time you could scrape enough money together, but then in fifth grade you realized plastic Smurf figurines were so much better and you rued all that money you blew on those stupid ponies. 

I got this forward today. I wonder who leaked this "memo"? Ha.

Leave One Child Behind

Dear Mr. and Mrs. G.H.W. Bush,

Once again, it is that time of year when we update the parents of our students on their child's progress, and we regret to inform you that your son, Georgie, is not doing as well as we'd hoped and expected when he embarked on his four-year program at our school.

As you are well aware, Georgie was installed as class president at the start of the school year, despite the fact that the majority of his fellow students did not vote for him. We foresaw problems immediately, but were assured by several school board members (who, as we understand it, are friends of your family) that this would not result in any real difficulty. Unfortunately, they have been proven wrong.

In the area of scholastic achievement, despite our best efforts, Georgie is still reading and speaking at a grade level far below our usual standards. At this point, we are not sure if his failure to learn is due to laziness and a lack of ability to apply himself to his studies, or if he simply lacks the intellectual capacity to improve in these areas.

His oral presentations to the class are particularly troubling; it is apparent that Georgie has not read the necessary materials, and he often simply fabricates facts to hide this shortcoming. In oral exams, he tends to repeat the same answers over and over, e.g. "The economy is good; jobs are on their way," indicating a profound failure to keep up with the Current Events portion of the curriculum.

Georgie also tends to fabricate elaborate stories about himself - which, admittedly, can sometimes be very amusing. During a school celebration last May, he delighted his fellow students by coming to class in a little "flight suit" (just like the grown-ups wear!), and had everyone in stitches with his story about the family dog having eaten his report card from military pre-school!

On the whole, however, Georgie does not play well with other children. His "leadership" in the classroom continues to divide many students, one against the other. Other study groups, such as our French and German-language classes, are no longer willing to cooperate with Georgie's group, even though they have traditionally done so in the past.

Your son also displays a lack of taking responsibility for his failings, and seems unable to appreciate the consequences of his actions. Although he was provided with the best textbooks on the subjects of the Economy, Job Creation, The Environment, et cetera, these books were damaged or completely destroyed within a matter of months. Georgie insists that he "inherited" these books in poor condition, despite all evidence to the contrary. (In fact, these same textbooks were previously used by one of our very best students, who actually returned them in better condition than he found them!)

During his first few weeks with us, Georgie quickly became part of a group of other "problem students." Despite warnings, he has consistently befriended children whom we consider to be "bad elements," such as Little Kenny Lay and a foreign-exchange student named Chalabi. Both of these youngsters have been expelled from other schools due to their involvement in cheating other students out of their lunch money. We feel that these kinds of relationships can only lead to no good, and hope that you will advise your child accordingly.

Georgie often displays aggressive behaviour in the schoolyard, and recently assaulted a student in another school district, completely unprovoked. When asked about this incident, Georgie insisted that the other child was armed and dangerous. When investigation into the matter proved otherwise, Georgie changed his story several times: he was just trying "democratize" the other child, the other child's school was harboring gang members, and so on. Quite frankly, his story on this topic has so changed from week to week, we simply can't trust his word at all anymore.

Georgie's friends, while not great in number, are very loyal, but tend to be over-protective. If any of the other students point out Georgie's failing grades, these friends simply shout them down and tell them not to speak at all. When Georgie was summoned to the principal's office several weeks ago, he insisted that his "best friend" come with him. We feel that it is in Georgie's best interest to learn to stand up for himself; failure to do so could seriously damage his ability to handle a leadership role in his adult years.

As you are aware, final exams will be held in November, and Georgie's past performance leads us to conclude that he will not be able to achieve the grades necessary to continue on with another four-year term at our institution.

Yours Truly, Ms. J.Q. Public, Assistant Principal

Drudge bias story ... is biased.

So some right-wing friend sends me this link -- of course, from Drudge Report -- that claims to "prove" that the media is biased toward the left. Drudge's headline is UCLA/Stanford Study: Drudge Report is significantly closer to the center than all other media outlets.

Here's the link to the HTML version of the doc:

http://216.239.51.104/search?q=cache:tCEKSNVW-OYJ:mason.gmu.edu/~atabarro/MediaBias.doc+drudge%3F&hl=en

and the Word doc:
http://mason.gmu.edu/~atabarro/MediaBias.doc

Except the problem is, the study is faulty. Here for your reading pleasure is what I wrote my friend....

Cute, but the study compares the news outlet "bias" to the opinions expressed by the average member of Congress. That's an extremely important factor to note.

"Our results show a very significant liberal bias. All of the news outlets except Fox News' Special Report received a score to the left of the average member of Congress."

Congress is NOT a statistical nor a representative sampling of the United States population. Members of the House and Senate are predominantly male, white, middle-aged, Protestant lawyers. That is not a mere observation; it's a statistical fact. It is also a statistical fact that most Americans are not middle-aged, white, Protestant male lawyers. In point of fact, there are approximately 37 lawyers per 1000 people in America.

Moreover, less than half of Americans vote, meaning Congressional representatives are chosen by and large by less than 1/3 of their constituents -- and that's if they win by about a 60% majority of those who bother to vote. They've got the money, the education, and the clout to conduct and win a campaign, which sets them apart from most of the people who elect them.

So the study proves nothing except that much of the media may be reporting news that seems left-wing to the average Congress member. Considering some of the religious blowhard nutcases that have made it to Washington, that is GOOD NEWS.

And now, for something completely girly.

I have this fabulous medium navy-colored nail polish I got several years ago in London. I have gotten several compliments on it, and recently I discovered that when I paint deep bordeaux polish OVER it, it turns a very attractive brown-black color. Black enough to wear with black sandals, and brown enough to wear with brown ones. How odd.

I find it likely that no one will care a whit about this web post, but even I get tired of just thinking about politics and the fate of the world all the time and sometimes, I am just a girly girly girl.

"Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean." Today I'm missing Howard Dean's campaign, really badly. Last night I collected all of my Dean stuff in a box, and this morning I realized what I miss most: the positivity.

Seriously. I made so many friends, and I still have the friends, and we're still working on politics. But it doesn't match the fire we had before. It's more negative -- as in, we honestly hate Bush and we hate what he's doing to the country. We aren't excited, we're just determined. Big shift.

Dean represented some things that we believe in -- a new direction. Healthcare for everyone. Fiscal moderation. Planning, for god's sake. "Something good," not just "not something bad." It just sucks that the other Democrats went after him with such a vengeance.

During the critical days right before the primary, rumors surfaced that "someone" was robo-calling Iowa voters, some pretending to be from the Dean campaign in the middle of the night, some suggesting Dean wasn't Christian because his wife is Jewish. All that somehow just went away, like no one cared, like it's OK. Everyone suspected it was Kerry's camp. And now that's the guy we've got to work with. Skull and bones, indeed.

A photo posted on, I think it was Daily Kos, showed two giant campaign signs nestled next to each other. One said something like - DEAN: The politics of hope. The other said - Doubts about Dean? Vote for KERRY. To me, that just sums up the whole damn primary.

Even the military hates Bush these days

I swear, Bush just has something to goad everyone, even the Republicans. For the fiscal conservatives, there's that ballooning budget and deficit. For Christian conservatives, Bush isn't right-wing enough because abortion is still legal. And now, he's ticking off the military by depleting their resources on this misguided war in Iraq. (Not to mention cutting veteran benefits.)

Some are formally criticizing him:

http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/2004/la-na-diplo13jun13,1,1142936.story

And ... another bullet in the gun the military's loading for Bush:

http://www.axisoflogic.com/artman/publish/article_8659.shtml

There's a pointed quote from a Republican defense industry bigwig about why he won't vote for Bush again in this one. In a word: Nine-Eleven.

With his base of support thus eroding, Bush might as well just go back to losing money in the oil business. At least he was GOOD at that.

I can only quote my friend Blake on this one:

http://www.emogame.com/bushgame.html

"Best. Game. Ever."

Warning, not for children or grownups who don't understand grownup stuff.

Eric Idle

A sweet paean to the FCC, Bush, et al. by the inimitable Eric Idle.

http://www.pythonline.com/plugs/idle/index.shtml